Enter summer. I love this season. It’s the season of my birthday, my sons’ birthdays (and who doesn’t love a birthday party that isn’t in the middle of the school year)
I love the heat. I love sandals. I hate socks.
I love swimming. I hate swimsuits (yeah, this causes some problems….)
And in response to the call for posts from Mama Kat, I have created my Top Ten list of Summer Don’ts. Here goes.
10 ) Don’t bitch about how how it is. Yep, it’s hot. Get over it. You just spent the last 4 months complaining about how cold this Canadian winter is, then how wet this Canadian spring is, and now you’re going to bitch about heat? Shhudddup.
9 ) Stemming from #10 – don’t don’t DON’T leave your pet in the car. I will break your window and I will call the humane society and have you spayed or neutered. It’s frackin hot. Leave your pet at home or take it out with you.
8 ) Don’t take the kids to the beach on the weekend. It’s just going to cause a huge argument with your spouse/significant other, and you’re going to end up wanting to punch someone in the face. But I wouldn’t recommend that you do that. No. Definitely not.
7 ) Tans are great. What you don’t want is this:
It just ain’t pretty. Not to mention the leather look and feel isn’t conducive to sexiness…. just sayin’
6 ) Don’t wear socks with your sandals. Even if it’s “chilly”. Even if you have ugly feet. Guys, I’m mostly talking to you, because you seem to be the major culprits. There is no excuse for this.
5 ) Don’t cut your lawn early in the morning. It pisses your neighbour(s) off. Seriously. Lawn mowing before 7:30am (especially in the suburbs and especially on the weekends) has now been banned. All pre-7:30am lawn mowers will be executed. Kidding. Not really.
4 ) Don’t pack up your family and travel to the Island to see the Windmills. They look awesome from town and you’re taking up space on the ferry for actual Islanders. Ramification of this are covered in #5. Seriously.
3 ) Are you a professional athlete? No? Please don’t do spandex. That is all.
2 ) Don’t forget to treat yourself to a pedicure…. because of COURSE you deserve it 🙂
1 ) Don’t make assumptions. For example: Puh-lease don’t assume that you can/should wear short shorts. You shouldn’t. It’s official.
I just ate and your outfit is disrupting my digestive process.