the conversation…

I wasn’t expecting this to happen until at least 10.

And when it happened… I was speechless.

Anyone who knows anyone who knows me will tell you that I very rarely have nothing to say.

“Uh…well…ummm” are just not a part of my vocabulary.

But not on this day….

This day?

My not-quite-7-year-old son asked me where babies come from.

Yeah. While I was driving.

It was innocent enough.
We were driving home from my parent’s and the boys were trying to talk me into having another baby. Again. Because that’s their decision to make, apparently. “Not a girl though… just another boy”.
When I reminded them that they, nor I, would have any choice in whether it’s a boy or girl, Monster quipped that “we’ll just put it back in Mommy’s tummy if it’s a girl.”
After reminding them that you can’t just put a baby “back in”, Peanut asked how it would get there in the first place, to which I replied, “God puts it there.”

Problem solved right?

Nope.

“Yeah, but how do a boy and girl make a baby Mom?”

My brain’s response?
“omg omg what do I say? I can’t actually tell him can I? Waaaay too young for that much information. How do I water it down without saying something totally ridiculous??”

I know lots of people that swear you should be honest and informative with your children as soon as they start asking you questions. These are the people who insist on their children using the term “penis” instead of “wee-wee” or “pee-pee” and “vagina” instead of “girlie parts” or “va-jayjay”.

These are brave people. I’m afraid to be anatomically correct with my children.

And so?

“Well, when a man and woman love each other, they have a very special kiss that helps a baby start to grow.”

{gulp} will that be good enough?

Pause.
Look out car window.

“Oh. Cool. But we have to be old to kiss like that right?”

“Right.”

“Like in high school?”

why are you testing me like this Lord????

“No Peanut, older than highschool.” {please}

“Ohhhh.”

please make this conversation STOP immediately

Silence.

“Are we going swimming tomorrow?”

{exhale} “Yes, Peanut. We’re going swimming tomorrow.”

Am I completely wrong in giving them semi-false information on this subject?? Have you had the conversation with your children? What did you say???

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5 thoughts on “the conversation…

  1. I think you did as well as can be expected! I have, thankfully, not had to answer those questions yet. The Girl believes her Daddy when he tells her you have to be 25 to have a boyfriend, and The Boy assumes that having babies is just part of being married, it hasn’t occurred to him that A) not all married couples have babies and B) not all people who get pregnant are married.

    One day they might do the math and figure out that I was NOT 25 when I had my first boyfriend and NOT married when I got pregnant. Not looking forward to that day!

  2. My daughter is 7 and I don’t think she is ready for the real conversation about the birds and the bees. I usually just tell her something about it just happens and change the subject. When she is older I will explain it. But not now.

  3. LOL! I couldn’t help laughing through this! It’s funny becuase me and my BFF were just having this very conversation yesterday and I realized juts how scared I am of this moment. Unfortunately, because my 4yo is the most inquisitive person I know, I know it won’t be long. When I was pregnant seven months ago, he asked me how the baby gets out of my tummy…and in. And I think I blacked out in that moment because I don’t even remember what my reply was.

    Loved this post!

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