since I became a mom…

Years ago, I used to watch the news religiously.  I would wake up in the morning, make coffee and sit down in front of my television to catch up on the latest events, catch the highlights from whatever sporting event I didn’t get to watch the night before, and see what the weather was forecast to be for the next few days.

I would repeat this routine at night.

Then I had children.

Since I’ve had children, I realize just how much depressing news there is in the world. I realize how horrible people can be to such innocent little creatures. I realize that I had been effectively “ignoring” stories of horrid scandal and child abuse… stories of Jon Benet Ramsey, Susan Smith, Andrea Yates.

Since I’ve had children, I can’t watch movies where a child gets hurt, or lost, or dies. As high as the reviews were, and as awesome as the cinematography was for “Slumdog Millionaire” I had difficulty making it through the entire film.
in fact, I had to watch it over several evenings…I kept getting overwhelmed

Since I became a mom, I can’t help but shed tears when I hear of other young mothers who have lost a child… whether it be through illness, accident or otherwise.

Over the nearly 7 years that I’ve been a mother, I have known people who have lost sons and daughters. I have seen their pain, unable to imagine the horrible emptiness that must occur when that tiny fire in the most beloved corner of your heart, your soul, your life is extinguished before it can truly glow. I have sat watching as funeral processions drive slowly by. Mothers in limousines, covered in a shroud of sadness. Unable to grasp a concept of life without their “baby”. Unable to understand how the world can be so cruel as to let them outlive their own child. It makes me pull my boys close. Kiss their cheeks. Breathe in their little boy smell – that tangy scent of mud, sunshine, laughter and innocence.

I was always able to dislocate myself from the emotion of it all.

Not since I became a mother.

Now I very rarely watch the news. I can’t bear to hear those heart breaking stories anymore.

I know – probably a bit extreme considering the amount of good news that is broadcast… but…

Case and point: The recent sensational trial of Casey Anthony almost completely escaped me.
Yes, I had heard about it, but honestly?
I didn’t want to hear about it. I want to live in my own world, where every mother loves their child. Where no one is unwanted or not cared properly for. Where everyone has the courage to ask for help when life gets overwhelming. Before it gets to that point.

Now that my children are older, I dread having to teach them that it’s not always ok to trust every adult, that there may be people out there who may try to hurt them, and that they should be comfortable coming to me whenever they have questions or concerns… without making them nervous of everyone.

Since I became a mom, I have learned that I will do anything – face any hurdle, fight any enemy to protect my children.

What has changed since you became a mom?

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11 thoughts on “since I became a mom…

  1. This is exactly how I feel everyday… every single day… I don’t watch the news or, I don’t watch Criminal Minds because they always have children involved. If I do happen to hear or see something that involves children I cringe and my blood starts to boil (the mom who left her baby in the car the other day in BC while she went shopping.. I have words that I can’t write down on here). I am more aware of my surroundings since I’ve had children. I am also a stronger person since I’ve had children…I am their protector and I will do anything I have to keep them safe.

  2. This is such a thoughtful, heartstring tugging post. You really captured the tug and pull of the mom thing. Beautifully written friend. XO

  3. I know what you mean, exactly. I don’t like watching the news or hearing about mothers like in the Casey Anthony trial. Everything feels so much stronger in Motherhood. It’s amazing how significantly your life changes the minute you know life is growing inside of you.

    I’m sure all Mothers can identify with your very touching and heart felt post!

  4. I honestly hadn’t even heard of the Casey Anthony trial until a few weeks ago, when they started really featuring it prominently on The View. Now I’m riveted, but thank goodness, I can say I know NONE of the details of the little girl. I only know the mother was out partying. I’m with you, I don’t watch the news!

  5. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I get upset with news stories and even fiction in ways I never dreamed of before I had kids. The idea of someone hurting a child, especially someone trusted by the child, really shakes my faith in humanity 😦

    Hanging out with my kids restores that shaken faith, so I try to focus on that and not the bad things.

  6. When it came time to push during labor with my first child the nurse took my hand and told me–everything is about to change. Once you become a mother it colors everything. And no matter what happens, no matter how long you have this child whether just today or God willing she outlives you, from this moment forward you will always be a mother. And it will always be the core of who you are and how you see live.

    She was a wonderful nurse and I suspect a wonderful mother.

  7. While I do still watch the news, I didn’t follow the Casey Anthony trial at all. No matter what happened in the court case, there was a little girl gone. And I knew that whatever was shown in the media and on the news was their spin, not exactly what was presented in the courtroom. That’s part of the reason why I don’t tend to follow big publicized court cases.

    But, you’re right, everything changes after having a child. I became a whole new list of roles in life with the birth of my first and then my second. And because one of my kidlets has autism, I became another whole set of roles to champion and protect to another degree as well. Motherhood is hard, but worth every drop of love in all of our hearts. :>

  8. Hi Lindsay, I’m Sweaty from a little blog called Do Sweat the Small Stuff

    Wanted to thank you for dropping by earlier and commenting on one of my posts. I’m terrible at when it comes to replying… not because I’m overly popular or anything like that… just me being a terrible multi-tasker 🙂

    I definitely can relate to this post… Before I had my daughter 6.5 years ago, I was never the type of person who liked children. Growing up being a single child, I found myself so awkward when it comes to interacting with kids. I was one of those women who’s afraid of holding a baby in fear I’d drop them! When I got pregnant with my daughter, I was so anxious that I wasn’t going to be a good mother.

    But motherhood definitely changed all that. Since I’ve become a mother, I see life through a different colored lens. Every decision and choice I’ve made since then always has my daughter’s well-being first and foremost. I think I’ve also become less selfish, more responsible, and considerate as the result of being a mother.

    Cases such as that of Casey Anthony’s and Madeleine McCann’s a few years ago, truly broke my heart. Since I’ve become a mother, I can’t even watch a movie involving any sad thing happening to a child. What’s even more sad, is that soon enough, my daughter would know that despite what I’ve taught her so far, there is evil in this world. That despite what I told her about respect and consideration for others, about compassion and helping others, there will be people out there who abuse and exploit such goodness.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us… I hope that you continue to visit my blog whenever you have the time. Meanwhile, I look forward to reading more from you 🙂

  9. Oh, gosh, this is EXACTLY like me. I even get a hard time from my sister for how overly sensetive I am to stuff like that. I can NOT watch anything where a baby/child is injured or dies, and I get choked up every single time I think about my good friend who lost her baby when he was two. Actually, anything that even sparks reminders of child death or injury jars me.

    Thanks for the post!

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