Years ago, I used to watch the news religiously. I would wake up in the morning, make coffee and sit down in front of my television to catch up on the latest events, catch the highlights from whatever sporting event I didn’t get to watch the night before, and see what the weather was forecast to be for the next few days.
I would repeat this routine at night.
Then I had children.
Since I’ve had children, I realize just how much depressing news there is in the world. I realize how horrible people can be to such innocent little creatures. I realize that I had been effectively “ignoring” stories of horrid scandal and child abuse… stories of Jon Benet Ramsey, Susan Smith, Andrea Yates.
Since I’ve had children, I can’t watch movies where a child gets hurt, or lost, or dies. As high as the reviews were, and as awesome as the cinematography was for “Slumdog Millionaire” I had difficulty making it through the entire film.
in fact, I had to watch it over several evenings…I kept getting overwhelmed
Since I became a mom, I can’t help but shed tears when I hear of other young mothers who have lost a child… whether it be through illness, accident or otherwise.
Over the nearly 7 years that I’ve been a mother, I have known people who have lost sons and daughters. I have seen their pain, unable to imagine the horrible emptiness that must occur when that tiny fire in the most beloved corner of your heart, your soul, your life is extinguished before it can truly glow. I have sat watching as funeral processions drive slowly by. Mothers in limousines, covered in a shroud of sadness. Unable to grasp a concept of life without their “baby”. Unable to understand how the world can be so cruel as to let them outlive their own child. It makes me pull my boys close. Kiss their cheeks. Breathe in their little boy smell – that tangy scent of mud, sunshine, laughter and innocence.
I was always able to dislocate myself from the emotion of it all.
Not since I became a mother.
Now I very rarely watch the news. I can’t bear to hear those heart breaking stories anymore.
I know – probably a bit extreme considering the amount of good news that is broadcast… but…
Case and point: The recent sensational trial of Casey Anthony almost completely escaped me.
Yes, I had heard about it, but honestly?
I didn’t want to hear about it. I want to live in my own world, where every mother loves their child. Where no one is unwanted or not cared properly for. Where everyone has the courage to ask for help when life gets overwhelming. Before it gets to that point.
Now that my children are older, I dread having to teach them that it’s not always ok to trust every adult, that there may be people out there who may try to hurt them, and that they should be comfortable coming to me whenever they have questions or concerns… without making them nervous of everyone.
Since I became a mom, I have learned that I will do anything – face any hurdle, fight any enemy to protect my children.
What has changed since you became a mom?