memoirs from an old me

I’m standing on the scale, the number taunting me…

205

Really?

Step off… make sure the little needle swings back to 0. Like that will reset the whole system and make it realize that it surely can’t be that much.

Deep breath.

Step back on it.

205… or is that closer to the 6?

Oh
My
Gosh

Seriously?

As soon as the number registers… I mean really registers, I start feeding myself the excuses that everyone has fed me over the last few months.
You know what I mean… when you don’t really want to say “yeah, you’ve really packed it on” so instead you say “well, you did just have a baby…” or “quitting smoking will do that to ya!” both of which are comforting and understandable… for the first 2 years or so.

The moment that number reared its ugly head at me, I start telling myself that it is ok, because I have given birth to 2 wonderful children and quit smoking all within the last 5 years.
The person looking at me in the mirror doesn’t agree with me though. That girl is crying out for a change. She’s suffering so horrendously that she doesn’t even know who she really is anymore.

She hides her personality like her body… under a dark blanket.

Today that changes.

These words were from a memoir that I wrote to myself as I began my weight loss journey in 2008. I was 205 pounds when I decided to join Weight Watchers and take control of my life again. Over the next year and a half, I lost nearly 60 pounds, and felt like a new person.

I’ve decided that that girl from 2008 is going to be my inspiration for 2012. She made things happen… she got stuff DONE – like BOOM!!! Done.

I have a fantastic life right now. I have everything I have ever wanted and more – but I have let my weight creep back up on me in my laziness – and created excuses for the extra 15 pounds.

No More.

I need to be accountable. Will you help me?

I’d like to share some of the things I’m learning, recipes I’m trying… all while trying to keep some fun in the mommy-hood.

2012 – better tie your shoes on… I’m comin’ back for more.

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3 thoughts on “memoirs from an old me

  1. Oh, I am with you on this! Menopause has really slowed my metabolism and I have packed on too much in my mid-section….the most dangerous weight. I have got to get moving and make a difference. I will check in on you and you can feel free to kick me in the pants which I hope to make a less ample target in 2012!

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