This is me… unedited.

Sometimes, I cry for no reason.

Things that I can’t see, can’t describe, can’t even acknowledge creep up behind me and weigh me down. Those feelings can last for a moment, an hour, a day, a week…

The feeling overwhelms me – like a pressure deep in my chest. Not panic, anger or anxiety. Just an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I disappear to my bedroom, stare at myself in the mirror, and begin the routine. It’s like something from the movie “The Help” : I remind myself that I am smart, I am a good mother, I am doing the best that I can.

Can I blame winter? Because I do.

Sometimes, I feel like a failure at everything.

Including blogging.

I want to write. It’s therapeutic for me. I spend hours reading other people’s blogs. Other people who obviously aren’t sitting in front of a blank computer screen trying to figure out what they should write. Who have coherent thoughts, strings of them.

I have nothing inspirational to say. Even if I did, would anyone want to read it?

I give up on the words… I bake something, take some pictures, put it up. There, I’ve done my post.

I struggled so hard to find the words. And again, I end up with this random, rambling post that I’m hoping will prompt something inside me to throw open the curtains to my brain and get rid of the cobwebs that winter seems to have deposited there.

I am in a blogger slump.

How do I get out of this?

I’m struggling with my winter blues, and I’m not sure how to write about it.  I have a wonderful Doctor that I see, but I’m trying to get out of my writing slump… The Empress suggested to just get it out how I feel… that it would help… that my bloggy friends would help me..

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7 thoughts on “This is me… unedited.

  1. Hi Lindsay…hang in there! As far as blogging goes…we are all in the same boat from time to time so be patient, but the whole thing about feeling like a failure may need some attention. I am not sure this is just winter blues….have you got a doctor you can talk to?

    • This is my winter…always 🙂 I do have a Dr that I see, she’s great. I’m not clinically ‘depressed’, just suffer from SAD. The Empress suggested I just get what I’m feeling out to see if it helped unblock my brain… We’ll see!
      Thank you for being concerned though 🙂

  2. Just starting on the blogging journey and there are definitely days i have nothing to say. I have started just walking away. I want to write when i am inspired not just because it is Tuesday. There are other days my brain is on warp speed and i write a bunch (ok I START) a bunch of posts.

    Stopping by from #PYHO

  3. I am such a winter person that I have no first hand experience with SAD. Do the temps have you huddling inside or can you get outside for a walk or more skating? I have read the double uppers of exercise and light can really help.
    For what it is worth the posts that are photography and recipes are some of my favorites. I never think of them as less than the written word.
    Think why you began blogging. For me it was to clear my head and leave my story for my kids. Things to enhance my life. So, if it isn’t enhancing then what? I say don’t bother that day. Remembering that goal helps me let go of other faux goals that might have crept in. Say posting daily or getting comments. When all is well those things are gravy, but they can also skew the original intent making the blog less rewarding and enjoyable. Life already has enough stuff like that we have to do! We don’t want our blogs becoming that.
    Sunshiny hugs to you today!

  4. Keep writing…
    Keep talking it out.
    There are so many of us out there who struggle with SAD during the winter.
    And we all ALL have bloggy slumps.
    Have you looked at Kludgy Mom? She has a section of writing ideas. It’s wonderful when you can’t think of anything to write.
    xox

  5. Im so sorry you’re feeling this was Lindz. The Empress is right, just write.
    Get it out.
    The more you write the more will come.
    Xo

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