Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday

I’m a part time mom.

I used to hate being called this, but basically, I suppose it’s true.

I’m divorced and have my children 50% of the time, because I feel that children should spend equal amounts of time between mother and father. It’s only fair. Just because he’s a shitty husband, that doesn’t make him a shitty father. Plus, I put myself in his shoes and thought “I wouldn’t want to go for a week without seeing the boys”, so this is the arrangement.

And it usually works out just fine.

My confession is:

<<hanging my head in shame>>

I love my kid-free weekends.

There I said it.

As much as I love my children (and I do love them – more than anything else in this WORLD – and would love to have them with me full time.) I have gotten used to the every other weekend life.

I think it started when I was first separated. That first weekend, I had no idea what to do with myself, while the kiddos were at their Dad’s. I felt like I was just walking around in circles and accomplishing nothing.

That passed pretty quickly.

I soon realized that I could clean the whole house without having to re-clean it 10 minutes later!

OR

I could sleep until 8 o’clock! Or later if my internal clock wasn’t ringing!!!

OR

If I told someone “sure, I’ll be right there” – I could actually be right there.

I know!! – Amazing!

Now – Hubby and I do most everything together… we golf, we travel (relatively close to home, but still…), we camp, go to watch the Jays get slaughtered by the Yankees baseball games and love to have that impromptu date night and pick a restaurant on the fly. We’re best friends, and soulmates.

We have had discussions of adding another little person to our lives. It’s something that we’d love to do while we are still young and can enjoy it. And I have to admit, the longing to have another baby, a little bit of he and I together, strikes me quite often, especially since we’ve moved into a perpetually pregnant neighbourhood.

But there is that ever-nagging question:

Who will take the baby every other weekend???

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Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday

I hate rainy days. Especially on the weekends that I have the kids.
Rainy days mean I have to be creative.

Baaah.

Take this morning for instance.

Hubby and I are sitting at the kitchen table with three very very energetic boys – momentarily mesmerized by Star Wars cartoons.  I was relaxing after a nice run on the treadmill, enjoying my post-workout coffee with french vanilla creamer, when Hubby pops my ‘perfect world’ bubble – I realize that as he looks out the window at the pouring rain, he has a look of terror on his face.

He turns to me and says “ok…game plan for parental survival today?”

I laugh.  And realize… I got nothin.

Sip of coffee… look out the window.

Blank.

Scratch my head and look around the room (like that’s gonna help)…

Crickets chirping.

“Just wondering…” pipes up Hubby, “because there’s one who’s looking a little antsy already and it’s not even 9am”

I turn to see Monster doing his best Worm dance move on the new chaise lounge.

This is the moment when I realize that I hate the fact that every time it rains, I have to actually think of interesting and attention-holding things to do.  No an easy feat at my house.

And the strange thing is, when I don’t have to think of something awesome, I have ideas-a-plenty. When the pressure’s on…. stumped.  Can’t think of a darn thing.

Good thing I have my fort-building, cool snack-making hubby to help me out.  And even though my basement is now a maze of boxes and bedsheets, the kids are quite content in their cave (no grown-ups allowed…) and I can go watch some DIY clean the house.

Love ya babe!

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