conversations with a 4 year old…

This is the conversation that Monster and I had on the 10 minute drive in to work this morning.

“Mom, do you wish you were invisible?”

“That would be pretty cool buddy.”

“Yeah, I’d follow people around and they’d never know I was there. I know that would be pretty cool.”

“Mom, do you see those army men?” (we live near and drive by the local base each morning) “I bet they’re going to drive the tank and shoot the cannons”

“You think so buddy?”

“Yep, they’re going to shoot the bad guys on the bridge.”

“You think there’s bad guys on the bridge?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going to listen for them… <thoughtful silence> HEY you know, if I was an invisible army man, I would be able to shoot the cannons and noone would know I was there.  Would that be pretty cool mom?”

“Yes buddy <smiling to myself> that would be really cool”

I love what a 4 year old imagination can think up 🙂

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love for mama

Over the course of my life, I have met a lot of amazing women. One of these ladies I am proud to call Mother.  Having these wonderful women in my life has taught me many many things.  In celebration of Mother’s day today, I went for brunch with my Grandmother, my mother, and 3 of her 4 sisters, along with their daughters.  I got to thinking about what special people I have in my life and just what I’ve learned.

My mother taught me some really handy things…  parsley tastes good in everything…and you can never have or use too much.  Children should be allowed to be loud and have fun… because they won’t always be children. The kitchen is the heart of the home. Knowing how to sew can save you a lot of money.  My kids won’t always be good – and that’s ok.
I’ve also inherited a few things that I could have done without… like the ability to put a birthday present away ‘somewhere safe’ and not find it until the following Christmas.

Most importantly, I learned the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  I think that the world would be a better place if everyone just remembered these words every day.

mommy and I

Thank you , Mom, for helping me be the mother that I am today. I hope that when my boys are grown and have children of their own, they think of me the way that I think of you.

I love you Mom.  Happy Mother’s Day.

…in his own time…

In my opinion, the worst things ever created is the list of “normals” for growing children.

Those developmental stages that are posted on every wall of everywhere you take your child during their early years.  On the message board of the Doctor’s office. On the wall at the Early Years Centre.  An 8″x 10″ piece of paper that constantly taunts us with those milestones that our child may or may not have reached yet.  If you are like me, you’ve stopped and read every single one of those milestones and then racked your brain trying to remember whether your child started putting their toys in their mouth at 6 months… or was it 8 months?  Jeez, is my child delayed?  He didn’t speak with any clarity until he was almost 22 months old. My best friend’s little girl was jibbering away at 11 months. I’m not kidding.  Speaking. Clearly.  I feel sorry for her, because she was negotiating with her during her terrible twos.  How much fun was that???

I would justify the fact that my child was not speaking at the “proper” age by telling myself “he was walking really early” or “he was drawing faces at 20 months”.  Why do we need to have a piece of paper tell us that our children are “normal”?  Maybe my Grandmother was right when she patted my hand and smiling, said to me “when he’s ready to talk, he’ll talk…. and you’ll wish he’d stop”.   Actually, I know she was right.  Because as soon as Peanut found his voice, he didn’t stop.  And every sentence started with one common word.  Mommy.  And the sentence could not continue until I acknowledged him.

“Mommy?”
<I look his way>
“Mommy?”
<I “mmhmm?” to him>
grabbing my face and pulling me close so that I’m nose to nose with him : “MOMMY”
“Yes Peanut?”
“ummmmmm……”

A typical conversation, I’m afraid.

When school started, I was worried that he would be behind because he didn’t recognize all of his letters.  He could sing his ABC’s and recognize upper case letters, but not all lower case.  He could write his name, but nothing else.  I thought he was well prepared… until I had to go to the health unit one day and saw the “norm” for a child that age is to recognize all his letters, be speaking in full sentences with more than 6 words, and should be correctly using past, present and future tenses.  What??? At 4??  Haven’t we maybe started to expect way too much of our little children??

homework time

Peanut is in Grade 1 now and I’ve quit reading about where he should or should not be.  He’s learning every day, and he’s excited about learning, which tells me that I need not be worried.  We read, we colour, he can sort shapes, colour by number (or in the case of this week’s math homework, colour by shape) and speak french more clearly than a lot of adults I know “Hey mom, bet you don’t know what a lapin is.”  Of course I know that it’s a rabbit, but it was fun seeing the smarty pants side of this child that was normally so shy and modest about what he had learned at school.  Now he is taking pride in the hard work he puts into his homework.

colouring shapes

I wish I had just listened to my Grandmother when Peanut was a baby.  I would have spent so much more time enjoying the ‘baby’ stage, instead of worrying whether or not he was progressing into the next stage quickly enough.  When people say to me “is it Friday yet?” I always tell them it’s a shame to spend life wishing it away, but I realize that with my kiddos, I spent a lot of time waiting for the next stage, instead of enjoying the stage that we were in.

There is no norm.  Everyone really does have their own schedule.  Grandma was right.  Who knew.

…sting like a bee

“Hit me”

“No”

“Just hit my damn stomach”

“No – I don’t want to hurt you”

<chuckling> “you won’t hurt me…trust me”

Hubby is a Thai Boxer.  He has studied the art of Muay Thai for about 10 years now and is extremely impressive to watch… but what’s more impressive is that he is constantly learning.  Even after that long, there’s still a lot to learn.  Well.

Hubby decided (before he was hubby) that I would be a great training/sparring partner.  In theory, I absolutely wanted to be a part of this. We went to the gym together most days (being friends). He was impressive to watch as he would explode on the heavy bag. I would sit on my stability ball, completely enthralled, completely forgetting the exercise I had been doing. Also, I’ve been a fan of UFC and martial arts in general for as long as I can remember.  But that was on TV. Not in the living room.

So I let him attempt to train me.  First step: learning to wrap your hands properly. I have to admit: having your hands wrapped up and the gloves on makes you feel pretty tough…and strangely sexy.  And the good Lord knows we could all use a little more confidence – who doesn’t enjoy feeling sexy?

Next step: pull on the gloves… do the little “float like a butterfly” dance that must accompany every form of boxing. Get in trouble for it. And hit something (or in this case, someone). That first jab was probably the most liberating feeling in the whole world.  I poured everything I had into perfecting the jab, cross, hook, combinations with roundhouse kicks, foot jabs and thai knees.

I’d had a pretty stressful year. Divorce, moving in with my parents at 30 years old, trying to find a suitable place to live for my boys….love, loss… all these poisons that built up inside me, eating away at my confidence, pushing me closer and closer to the brink of depression.  I was fighting with myself constantly. Until I put those gloves on.  No one could hurt me in those gloves. Every ounce of stress, every angry thought, every self-serving thought was released through the gloves.  And hubby holding the pads or shouting his encouragement to me only helped. I fought my way through the anger, the pain, the depression, and the self-pity.  Being physically stronger helped me be a mentally stronger woman… who knew?

That was 3 years ago… I got hurt a few months back and hung up the gloves, much to hubby’s dismay.  I’ve realized how much I miss it.  I miss that connection that we had when we sparred ~ how many couples actually fight each other and don’t have the cops called on them?? It is a special bond that we share… and I like that he’s teaching me about something that he loves so much.

The new house has a big basement…. might have to be the new ring. 🙂

A to Z ~ some stuff about ME :)

I’m trying to distract myself from the mountain of boxes that awaits my arrival at home… moving day tomorrow !!!  So I’ve been creeping my friends’ blogs in search of some fun ideas.

My friend Leighann – the multitasking mumma has some really awesome ideas that she’s “borrowed” from fellow bloggers…. my new goal in life is to have people “borrow” awesome ideas off my blog.  Better get thinking huh? 🙂

make sure to check out her site!
A. Age: 32…. as painful as that number is to me, it seems to make my hubby really happy. (he says he’s married to my birth certificate)
B. Bed size:  It’s a Queen…and there’s still not enough room for me 😉
C. Chore you dislike:  ummmm. All.  definitely
D. Dogs: I know a few.
E. Essential start to your day:  hehehe.  well….
F. Favorite color:  black. is that a colour?? is it like white?
G. Gold or silver: if he’s buying it… I’m not picky.

H. Height: 5’8”. But I swear I was 5’9″ not too long ago. I think the lady at my Dr’s office is messing with my head.
I. Instruments you play(ed):  Piano…clarinet (in highschool)…and I studied classical guitar for a little while….but mostly my Rockband drums. 🙂
J. Job title:  Superwoman.
K. Kids: We’re the brady bunch…. 2 of my own and 1 of his. 🙂  Love ’em all!!!
L. Live:  carpe diem.
M. Mom’s name:  Mommy. (she has a real name?) seriously?
N. Nicknames: Linds.  Mom.  Angel (my personal favourite). Pooh (thanks Dad)
O. Overnight hospital stays: pneumonia as a child – NOT fun.  Then with both my boys.
P. Pet peeves:  non-signaling drivers. “If it’s meant to be, it will be” (and other general clichés). Toilet paper that rolls out of the top rather than the bottom. Pre-heating ovens.
Q. Quote from a movie: “Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb.” (extra points if you can name the character and movie!!) and of course.. anything from Dumb & Dumber.
R. Righty or Lefty: I write right (that sounds weird…) but I bat, golf and play pool LEFT. 🙂  That’s right (pun intended) I’m special
S. Siblings: My folks tell me I have a brother… wouldn’t know… hasn’t called me in almost 2 years.
T. Time you wake up: 5AM – until tomorrow!!!
U. Underwear:  not optional… I don’t get it.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Turnip. – have to agree with Leighann on that one.  *gag*
W. What makes you run late: my life.  and everything in it.
X. X-rays you’ve had: arm (broken). nose (broken 2x). teeth
Y. Yummy food you make: Thai coconut chicken.  Ask hubby. he’d eat it every day 🙂
Z. Zoo Animal Favorites:  My house is a zoo… and my kiddos are my favourite animals. 😉

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