**This is a public service announcement advising all mothers of the latest infection of CCS – crazy child syndrome – spreading like wildfire.
For those of you who have never heard of CCS, here’s the low-down:
Description: 9 out of 10 mothers agree that this disease runs rampant in homes where children are exposed to each other or a singular parent for more than 3 hours due to limited access to the outdoors – normally in the event of extreme weather conditions.
Symptoms: may include: excessive laughter at flatulence, contortion of the face for no particular reason, sporadic bursts of BELCH, followed by more excessive laughter, as well as countless other symptoms.
My 6 year old has suddenly morphed into a repulsive-sound machine. I had no idea (maybe because I’m over the age limit) that flatulence was so very hilarious. Not only when you actually pass gas, but also when you step, sit, or jump in their case, on a whoopie cushion, or press your mouth into the crook of your elbow and blow. This in turn has caused his little brother Monster to think this is hilarious, even when he doesn’t actually think so. And I called him on it the other day.
“Do you think that’s funny Monster? (after a major giggle-fest over said noises)
“Then why are you laughing so hard”
“I dunno. Cuz they are.”
They being his brother and step-brother Speedy…. the culprits. They’re only 7 months apart and feed off of each other’s energy constantly. It’s exhausting on a good day, let alone when we’re stuck inside and trying to keep people entertained…
Peanut has even discovered a way to shrug his shoulder when he has his shirt off that produces “neck farts”. I was treated to a little performance Sunday night at shower time.
“Hey mom, I don’t have to sing in the shower anymore… I can just do this – ploof, shmoot, ploooot. heeeheeeheee”
I understand that they’re just kids but do they really need to infect Monster, who is 4, with the same nasty little habits?? Yes of course they do. This is surely a sign of things to come, isn’t it. All you mothers with older children will chuckle and say “ohhhh she hasn’t seen anything yet – wait till they talk Monster into doing yadda yadda.”
Please no. Monster is my baby and I love him, but he has no fear and will do anything those older boys tell him to do.
As for now, Monster hasn’t caught on to attempting the ‘neck fart’. But I’m sure that will come soon enough.