CCS and you ~ be prepared…

**This is a public service announcement advising all mothers of the latest infection of  CCS – crazy child syndrome – spreading like wildfire.

For those of you who have never heard of CCS, here’s the low-down:

Description:  9 out of 10 mothers agree that this disease runs rampant in homes where children are exposed to each other or a singular parent for more than 3 hours due to limited access to the outdoors – normally in the event of extreme weather conditions.

Symptoms:  may include: excessive laughter at flatulence, contortion of the face for no particular reason, sporadic bursts of BELCH, followed by more excessive laughter, as well as countless other symptoms.

Seriously though….

My 6 year old has suddenly morphed into a repulsive-sound machine.   I had no idea (maybe because I’m over the age limit) that flatulence was so very hilarious.  Not only when you actually pass gas, but also when you step, sit, or jump in their case, on a whoopie cushion, or press your mouth into the crook of your elbow and blow. This in turn has caused his little brother Monster to think this is hilarious, even when he doesn’t actually think so.  And I called him on it the other day.

“Do you think that’s funny Monster? (after a major giggle-fest over said noises)

“No”

“Then why are you laughing so hard”

“I dunno. Cuz they are.”

They being his brother and step-brother Speedy…. the culprits. They’re only 7 months apart and feed off of each other’s energy constantly. It’s exhausting on a good day, let alone when we’re stuck inside and trying to keep people entertained…

Peanut has even discovered a way to shrug his shoulder when he has his shirt off that produces “neck farts”.   I was treated to a little performance Sunday night at shower time.

“Hey mom, I don’t have to sing in the shower anymore… I can just do this – ploof, shmoot, ploooot. heeeheeeheee”

Lovely.

I understand that they’re just kids but do they really need to infect Monster, who is 4, with the same nasty little habits??  Yes of course they do. This is surely a sign of things to come, isn’t it.  All you mothers with older children will chuckle and say “ohhhh she hasn’t seen anything yet – wait till they talk Monster into doing yadda yadda.”

Please no. Monster is my baby and I love him, but he has no fear and will do anything those older boys tell him to do.

As for now, Monster hasn’t caught on to attempting the ‘neck fart’.  But I’m sure that will come soon enough.

Can’t wait.

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sharing and growing

As many of you know, we’ve recently moved into a new house.  This isn’t just any house…. this is the house that I never, ever, in my wildest dreams thought I’d be living in.  It’s beautiful.  It’s spacious. And it has 4 bedrooms.

That’s right. 4.

Because my boys have always shared a room (before moving in with hubby, my apartment was only a 2 bedroom), I assumed they’d be ok with it when we moved to the new house, thereby having a spare room and an ‘office’ for me. YAY.

I was wrong.

After spending 2 hours framing Comic Book character posters, hanging them, and covering the little boy blue walls with glow in the dark Toy Story 3 stickers (totally cool), Peanut confided in me that his step-brother, Speedy, was really really (emphasis on the really) lucky because he has his own room, but he has to share with Monster.  I explained that the other bedroom was “Gramma’s room” and that he and Monster shared because they had bunk beds and a great big room to sleep and play in!

He wasn’t buying my over the top with excitement pitch for the shared room.

And he’s really adorable when he pouts. And boyyy did the lip come out.

I can understand that I wouldn’t want to share a room with my younger sibling.

No big deal right?   Wrong.

Problem is, I’m experiencing some sort of separation anxiety over it… The fact that my first-born child, my little boy, my cuddly, I-love-you-to-the-moon-Mommy little boy now wants yet another level of autonomy and I have no choice but to give this to him. Like feeding himself and brushing his own teeth wasn’t enough???

It’s killing me.  Why?  Why am I upset that my child wants his own room? It’s certainly not that we need the space…. I don’t really need an office (as I write this from the comfort of my own bed)… and Gramma will probably spend the night 3 times a year.

Fact is, I found myself making excuses to Peanut as to why he should share… we had just decorated the room – the spare room didn’t have anything in it.

“The stickers can come off the wall mom… see?” <easy peezy Woody sticker removal and re-stick to the new bedroom wall>

grrrr  <first point to the 6 year old>

Plan #2:  guaranteed to work (or so I thought): I reminded him that poor little Monster would be scared if he had to sleep in the big bunk bed without him….  then the head tilt and eyebrows raised ‘motherly’ look. To which Monster emphatically shouts “I GET THE TOP BUNK??!! – YAY I GET THE TOP BUNK!!!” over and over.

“see mom? he doesn’t care”

crap

I’m all out of ideas. Now what?  “Well, it’s a queen sized bed in there… you can’t buy cool blankets that big buddy”

<pause for thought… hehe  I’ve won>

“That’s ok. I just want a blue one.”

And that’s how the 6 year old wins.  He’s just so darn smart.

could you say no to this face? seriously?

*******

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